Thursday, 30 March 2017

Lets Talk About: What They Don't Tell You

In today's Lets Talk About with Laura we are discussing the things that nobody tells you about growing up! So stick around to see our nitty gritty experiences and advice! On my blog I'll be telling you about the things that nobody tells you when it comes to Sex, Make Up, University and Body Confidence! Head over to Laura's blog to see what we have to say about Moving Out, Periods, Getting Tattoos and Drinking!


Sex

Jess

Sex can be such a scary thought, you see these fabulous, sexy, aesthetically pleasing scenes in films and they couldn't be further from the truth! Sex can be ugly and gory but as long as you are enjoying it that's all that matters! Your first time will probably be the most awkward experience of your life. There's fumbling, not knowing what to do or where to put it! It probably won't hurt as much as people make it out to and you more than likely will be able to walk the next day contrary to popular belief, unless you're losing your virginity to king kong's forearm! Condoms can be the biggest mood killer but if you aren't on any other contraception I would highly recommend them, the pull out method is not effective at all! If you don't want to be using a condom then I would suggest going to a sexual health clinic and finding out what they can offer you in the form of contraception, I am on the injection and have been for 6 years and I wouldn't look back! Steering back to sex being ugly, queefs are normal, they happen and its nothing to be embarrassed about or cry over! 

Laura

When it comes to sex there is so many things we aren't told. If your parents we're anything like mine they told you what it was and what it is was for, but didn't tell me all the little details, but of course, why would they? So, with that knowledge, here's some of things I learnt from my experiences that I wish someone had told me (if your uncomfortable talking about sex, you might want to skip this section). Lets get something straight from the very beginning, your first time (probably) won't be magical! For most people, it's awkward, clumsy and hilarious to look back at, Unless you happen to have landed yourself a Christian Grey your first time will probably be the same, especially if it's your partners first time too. It's okay to not know what your doing - nobody does their first time! Also, while I am full advocate of practicing safe sex, condoms are icky and gross and take some getting used to. They also break! With this in mind it might be worth going to see your local health clinic and getting familiar with what other contraception is out there that might suite you. Finally, it's better with someone you love. Sounds cheesy I know but is 100% true. Nobody is going to respect you and your boundaries more than someone who loves you, and nobody will make you feel more safe and beautiful. If the person your with doesn't make you feel these things then you probably shouldn't be having sex with them - you'll regret it in the morning. 

Make Up

Jess

The biggest love and bane of every woman's life! When it comes to make up I feel like people tell you all the good stuff but none of the bad! Things like make up expiry dates or keeping your make up brushes clean and how grubby they actually get! As a young teen I did not pay any attention to make up expiry dates, I always thought I knew better but as I've got older I have made a conscience effort to make sure I try and stick to the expiry dates to avoid things like eye infections! I have recently had an eye infection and it was not fun! Bad make up is also one of the biggest causes of break outs so try and keep track of when you open your products and make sure you check on the bottom of the product how long of a life it has! As for cleaning your brushes, this is something I can still be terrible at, it is such a tedious task and a lot of work if you have an excessive amount of brushes like i do! I read a news/research article about a month ago about how much bacteria is actually on your brushes and it is absolutely disgusting! If I can find it I will link it (here) I know I will definitely be making sure I clean my brushes way more often than I normally do! Another big thing for me with make up is needing high end products all the way along the line, this isn't something I keep up with. I am in no way fussy about where my products are from or what brand they are! So many drug store brands do amazing dupes for high end make up so it is definitely worth looking into before you go and spend £40 on a palette that you're probably never going to wear! There is nothing wrong with treating yourself though! My high end go to treats are the Benefit They're Real primer and the Urban Decay Primer Potion! 

Laura

I so wish that someone had told 'less is more' when it came to makeup! 12 year old me trying to apply a full face of make-up was always going to end in disaster. It's better to master things one at a time, rather than slap as much as possible all over your face! I also wish someone has drilled into me that there is literally zero obligation to wear make-up everyday, or ever for that matter. But if make-up is something you're interested in, practice, practice, practice, you'll get there eventually!



Body Confidence

Jess

Body confidence is something that is massively discussed on the internet and I completely agree with it but something that can grind my gears is the inability to not feel confident with your body. People always sit there and preach about loving the skin you're in but I rarely see anyone sit there and say but it is completely okay if you don't love the skin you're in, its okay to be having a shit day. Its okay to wake up and not feel confident about your body but if you are so unhappy then maybe it is time to take the steps to changing it, not because anybody else says so but because you want to be happy and comfortable with yourself! I would say 50% of the time I am body confident, there are steps I want to take so I can be more confident and happier with my body but I do have really bad days where I hate my body and its horrid. Its probably the worst feeling in the world but it doesn't normally last for long. On the days where I am feeling a bit crappy I either chuck my comfies on, throw my hair into a messy bun and will have a bit of a lazy day or I'll do my make up, put my nice clothes on and do my hair, make myself a bit better about myself! It's finding the balance and not letting yourself slip into a rut, especially when its about not feeling confident about yourself! 


Laura

A topic that all of us, whether male or female, can relate to. We all have our insecurities, no matter how big or small, our insecurities can ruin the best of days. To be honest, I think that's exactly what they don't tell you about body confidence, we all have our own body confidence issues, and that's okay. I know I certainly have days where I want to hide under the bed covers away from the world. However, as soon as I remember that everyone else has insecurities too, I feel much better about myself.



University

Jess

I dropped out of University. There I've said it. That's the hard bit over. I've been so scared to actually write that as I feel like dropping out is so frowned upon and looked down on but it actually really takes some balls to admit that university or your course isn't for you. I hated my course, I was studying things I used to teach myself and it wasn't challenging me at all I was just completely bored. The girls on my course were the nastiest, bitchiest people I have ever met in my life. It was honestly the most dreadful thing going. So I've moved back home and am starting a job in a few weeks which I am so excited for. I really needed to be out of the education system and into work as I was beginning to resent it. University isn't for everybody and it is okay to drop out and start doing something that you actually want to do. Why waste at least £9000 a year for nothing? I've been really lucky that my family has been really supportive and understanding of my decision. They appreciate that I really did give it a good go and it just wasn't working out. It would have been silly for me to stay there when I could be at home working and actually doing something.

Laura

Everything. University is impossible to describe and prepare for. There's loads that they don't tell you because everyone has a different university experience. One thing I will say though is that university isn't for everyone, and if it's not for you then there is nothing wrong with that! Whether you decide not to go at all, or go and then decide it isn't for you. The stigma around 'dropping out' is awful, and a lot of people feel deterred by that, as well as the financial implications of leaving university. However, it's important to realise that university is, while very fun, an incredibly high stress environment that a lot of people struggle with for numerous reasons. So, my key bit of advice for university would be, you do you, ignore the everybody else. It's such a big life decision that only you can make so make sure its the right decision for you.  

Apologies this post has taken us a few weeks to put up, we wanted to put it up when we were both super happy with it. I hope you enjoyed it. Much love as always!






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