Tuesday, 11 April 2017

Learning to pick my fights...

Anyone that knows me will know that I live up to my nickname Stress. I also definitely have a redhead fiery temper, I'm not a full red head but I do dye my hair blonde not that it covers any of my ginger for long! I've always struggled with holding my tongue and not speaking what's on my mind. If something's bugging me or you've annoyed/upset me you'll know about it. If we're having a raging argument I can guarantee I will say something that will upset you, I won't mean it I'm just very sharp tongued! One of my goals or improvements for this year was to put my brain in action before my mouth and think about the repercussions and consequences if I did just let myself go off on one. So I decided I really needed to learn to pick my fights. 

It's safe to say I've been faced with many situations in the past 4 months where I've needed to pick my fights. For example, my housemate Joe (old housemate but that hurts my heart that I don't live with my best friends anymore) made a bit of a sexist comment about fixing something in our house, 99% of the time it's me who fixes things, so when he made that comment I was seething but I knew if I said something in that moment my mouth would engage before my brain and all hell would break loose! I took myself to my room for 15 minutes or so, calmed down and then went back into the kitchen told him he was out of order and explained why he'd annoyed me. He apologised and now we laugh about it. That wouldn't be the case if I'd have had a go, it would be one of those awkward situations that we constantly had to relive. 

On the other hand, I've not let people take the piss or walk all over me. My brother made a comment the other day that I've had everything made for me and lived the high life in Cambridge and there was no way in hell I was backing down. I've struggled and had to scrimp and save just to be able to eat at points. It made me so mad that he thought I'd had it easy and he couldn't understand that I had struggled so I made my point but he still didn't understand and there's simply no point arguing with somebody who thinks they're right when they aren't. I fought my corner and didn't back down until I'd made my point but I didn't engage in the pettiness. I will always fight for what I believe is right but I won't rise to the immature, uneducated comments. 

Those are just two examples of how I guess I've grown up in the past 4 months and learnt when I've needed to fight my corner and when I've needed to walk away and collect myself. There have been so many more, but writing about there here would be giving the people exactly what they want, a reaction from me. I guess the whole point of this post is to show if I can do it, the girl who six months ago didn't hold her tongue and would lash out, anyone can. I've blocked and unfollowed so many people because of comments they've made, that isn't me being defeated or taking their crap that's me making the grown up decision to rise above their comment and not let them have the reaction they want. 

I am so proud of myself for sticking to this goal, I've been so much happier since learning to pick my fights, I'm not having to suffer the consequences of my sharp tongue and I know if I have fought for something it was the right thing to do and I don't regret it. 

Much love as always!


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